Day 7- Not getting easier, but making it through!

So, as you can tell from the title of this- it's not getting any easier to not drink coke. However, I have maintained control and made it through. Honestly, I actually kind of welcome the challenge now, as I lean more and more on God to get me through the thick of it. And really, isn't that what it's all about? The cravings/temptations will never leave us on this earth, but when we ask Him to see us through and remove it from our mind and hearts, we are able to move past it. It may come up again, and new temptations and obstacles are ever present, but He is stronger than all of it, and through Him, so are we. So many people have commented "Oh, I didn't know you were Catholic," in reference to the fact that I am observing Lent (in my own ways), but I'm not, and never have been. Again, I see it as just another opportunity to really make myself consciously dependent on God so that in those moments when I don't take the time to think about leaning on Him, I still do. I've started a new "habit" of making smoothies every night after the kids go to bed for Kevin and me to share. We've tried a couple of different combinations so far, and I make enough to send with him in the mornings to work. It's fun, and quality time the two of us get to spend together deciding what concoction to put together for the evening. I've also used this opportunity to open my children's eyes (and stomachs) to more a more healthy way of eating, as we have enjoyed lunch at Panera, Jason's Deli, and Souper Salad in the past week. Souper Salad was a HUGE success and it felt good knowing I was giving them the opportunity to make healthy choices for themselves even at such young ages. Kevin has remarked more than once in the past few days about how his energy level has increased at work through the day, and I have to admit my own energy level has seen benefits, as well.
Of course, I have some selfish reasons for sacrificing the unhealthy foods in my life, and I can honestly say that I already feel like I'm beginning to lose some weight and trim down. So, given the progress in just one week, I wonder how great I'll feel in 33 more days?!

On another note, Owen said the sweetest thing today. Lately he has really been talking a lot about God and Jesus and Heaven, and I just love to get to talk to him about these things. He's so honest and sincere when he asks and talks about it all. So today, as we were heading up to my foot doctor, Owen told me he wanted two brothers. I asked him if he wanted mommy to have two brothers or if he would mind if we got his brothers from another place in the world, brothers that don't have a mommy and daddy (we've always wanted to adopt, and it's become a more relevant topic in the past few months). Confused, Owen looked up at me and said, "Well Mommy, we would get them from God, of course."
Of course Owen, we will get them from God- no matter what journey we take to reach them, God will bring them to us. Oh, how blessed we are with such a tender, sweet soul to nurture. "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12)
Sweet boy, I pray your heart will only grow in love for your wonderful Jesus. Thank you God, for the wonderful gifts these children are to us. We pray we will be a blessing to them, as much as they are to us.

Lent- Day 5

I know I haven't been keeping up with my Lent blogging, but we spent the weekend in Kansas for my cousin's wedding, and have been a little busy! However, I must admit these past few days have been HARD. Every time I turn around, I want a coke. Then I think to myself, 'Oh, I'll just have a Sprite or sunkist or something'....nope, no carbonated beverages. I'm finally beginning to get over the caffeine withdrawal headache, and now it's just pure cravings. I couldn't even drink the punch at the wedding last night because it had some pop in it. Boo :( My favorite part about weddings is the cake and punch, no lie. So, yep, it's been difficult and I'm only 5 days in. But I CAN DO IT! I know I can, because any time that temptation arises, I know where to turn, and He alone can take away all temptation and allow me to succeed. I just need to rely on Him to get me through. And truthfully, that's what this period is all about. Sure, I could give up drinking coke, and probably do it all on my own. But I don't have to- God will see me through and provide for me in the darkest of hours. (Not to say I'm facing dark hours because of my choice to give up coke, but you hear what I'm saying.) What I'm getting at is this- God wants us to give up all of ourselves to Him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. So I'm starting with this. Now, that doesn't mean that I'm giving up coke for good, just that during this time, my sacrifice of a wordly thing that I enjoy SO much, I'm turning it over to God. I don't need it in my life, especially since it has reached a level where it truly consumes me to a certain extent. So why would I want something so meaningless as a coke come between me and my Savior?? Instead, I'm using it as a building block, to get closer to Him. He will see me through this trial that He is aware I am going through. He cares about even the smallest details of our lives, and I know He cares about my desire to do this for Him.
Any time I feel the urge or the craving for coke, I am reminded of the sacrifice I have chosen to make. It prompts me to pause and ask God to hold my hand through the weak moment, and to make me a stronger person. Then the thought continues to to sacrifices Jesus made for me (and you...and you...and you). Holy cow...that was WAY bigger than coke!! What if God asked me to sacrifice cable? or the tv itself? or driving my car? or sleeping in my nice, big, warm bed? These are all things we are accustomed to in our lives...at least as Americans. Did you know that if your annual family income is $50,000 or higher, you are better off financially than 99% of the world's population?! Talk about a reality check...as I sit here typing on my laptop computer, from the warm comfort of my OWN bed, with the tv droning on in the background I am thinking, there's nothing extravagant about my life. But, oh, how wrong I am. I live in a country where my children can play with children of other "ethnicities" (when all my children see are more friends to play with!), a country where we can choose the church we want to worship in (and really whether we want to worship the Lord or not), where I can drive freely around my city without worry of roadside bombs, I can leave my children at Mother's Day Out while I finish up a college education so that I will one day have a successful career of my own, in addition to my wonderful family. I am so blessed, simply by the zip code I live in, and I know God put us here for a reason. I pray we will be the seeds that He needs to go forth and spread His truth and love. To show the community, state, nation, and world what God's love and kingdom is truly about- LOVE. Selfless, unfailing, forgiving LOVE.
So during this time, another of my prayers is that God will help me to focus on the things He has enriched my life with and blessed me with, instead of the things that have been "taken away" by this season. I pray, you too, will choose the path of least resistance with God, and that you will open your eyes to the blessings that far outweigh the sacrifices.

New year, New goals, LENT!!

Here we are on February 18, and I'm starting the blog world over with a clean slate. Today is the second day of Lent this year, and to be honest, the effects of what I've given up truly haven't started to hit me yet. Of course it's easy the first few days and I think "Oh, I can do this! Piece of cake!" I can get over the nagging little headache that reminds me I've not had caffeine in over 39 hours, I'm still energized to do my run each day, and the other commitments I've made. However, I can't help but acknowledge that thought that keeps coming up and telling me, 'Just you wait...'
SO, the trials and triumphs during this season of learning to turn my "vices" over to God and turn to Him to help me relieve and avoid temptation, will all be put here. I can vent and unload the stresses in those moments of despair. It may sound dramatic and a little extreme, but if you even knew the amount of coke I drank in one day, you'd be amazed I'm even trying to cut it out. See, I don't drink water. In fact, I can NOT stand water! It even makes me nauseous when I drink it. On a very rare basis do I actually crave water, and in those moments it must be ice cold (and these moments typically occur only after working out or getting really hot during summer). I actually asked my OB about this during my pregnancy with Ellie, because Kevin thought I was lying when I told him it made my sick to my stomach to drink water. Guess what? Dr. Huff said it was completely common, especially for people who have very acidic stomachs. Well, due to the fact that I have no gall bladder, all that acid just sits in my stomach waiting to be used up. When I drink water, it just washes the acid up higher into my stomach, causing acid reflux and nausea. HA. Told ya so, Kevin. Anyway, the entire point of mentioning all that is to say, "WHAT CAN I DRINK?!" These fruited waters that everyone raves about also make me nauseous. And if a drink has even a hint of artificial sweetener in it (don't get me started on those things!) I can detect it and absolutely can't stand the stuff. So, with coke/carbonated beverages being out, water out, anything with artificial sweetener (Nutrasweet, Splenda, etc) is out, I'm left with a rather limited list of beverages. I LOVE milk, and could drink a gallon a day probably, but that would get expensive fast and I'd probably develop kidney stones pretty quickly. We'll see where this all takes me...
I'm ready to use this "no cokes" as a jumping off point to revitalize the way my whole family eats and looks at nutrition. The career field I'm going in to gives me the opportunity to be an example of a healthy lifestyle and the benefits it can provide. So why would I want to waste that opportunity?! Plus, aside from all the internal health benefits of eating better and being health conscious. well, I miss my old body! I know I've had two kids, but I mean, come on...that should never be an excuse to let myself get out of shape and be miserable with the way I look. As a wife and mother, this should be the time of my life! And I should have a body that reflects the joy and excitement and energy I have about this wonderful life I've been given. But, that brings forth another issue- where in this ridiculously large city are we to go when searching for truly organic and healthy foods?! I'm looking forward to tackling this challenge over the next several weeks, and will hopefully be able to report that OKC has a lot more to offer than what I've known in regards to natural, healthy foods. My poor kids...they are having to bid farewell to their beloved McDonald's chicken nuggets and fries (maybe they will be able to get it as a 'treat' every once in a while), but I'd rather them be asking for carrots and other vegetables, and I want to expand their 'fruit palate' to include more than just bananas, apples, and strawberries! Fortunately, I don't think our family is predisposed to obesity, but just because we don't fall into that category, doesn't mean our bodies aren't suffering from the bad choices we make in regards to what goes into them.
Today for lunch the kids each had a ham and cheese sandwich on dry whole grain white bread, a dill pickle spear, and organic yogurt. Organic apple juice to drink. Thanks, Panera :) (And guess what?? They actually ate it and enjoyed it all!!)
I had a jamba juice smoothie, then a turkey & cheese panini, and...wait for it....water to drink (ice cold, of course).
It's going to be fun (hopefully not too expensive) to find new recipes and try new techniques in the kitchen- and at the end of it all, perhaps I'll find a skinny, fit, more energetic mommy :)

So, what's for dinner??

Long time, no post

So yes, it's been a while since I've posted. Again, not due to slacking, just SUUUUUPPER busy. The weekend was crammed full of stuff, even though it wasn't all fun. Plus, we've all been taking turns being sick, which is never fun. Precious petite princess had her 15 month well baby visit, and thankfully, all was well! She is still quite the petite little thing, though, landing in the 25th percentile all the way around, except for her head circumference, which, in TRUE fashion for our family, was solidly in the 97th percentile! That's a big ol' brain in there for a petite princess! She did have to get two shots (never fun, but necessary!), and pulled through like a trooper only crying a bit on the second shot.
Friday I didn't have class, but didn't get to enjoy my day off as it was my turn to be sick. Nothing major, just enough to keep me down and feeling crummy. I started to feel a little better as the day progressed, and by the afternoon I was feeling well enough to go get the kids from MDO and take bouncing blue-eyed boy to get his hair cut. I have to admit, I'm a little sad about it now, as it didn't turn out quite the way I was wanting. Oh well, it will grow. After that, we headed out to my parents' house, as it was the big moving day for them. It was with very mixed emotions that I drove the roads in the neighborhood leading to the home I grew up in. I'd already had a good cry about it that morning, but continued to be a little weepy as the final things were loaded up and we cleaned. I have a whole post planned dedicated to this event, coming up so stay tuned! We all caravanned (?) to the new house and shared a dinner of pizza and hot pop (Mommy Dearest forgot they had no ice yet!).
Saturday morning The Boy had a dental appointment for a baby tooth that had been bothering him. Good thing I went with him, because they ended up needing to remove the tooth to prevent further infection. Fortunately (though he feels otherwise) the tooth was in a location that no immediate action needs to take place to replace it. It's one of his far back molars, so it in no way affected that gorgeous smile. He spent the rest of the day in pain :( so I played mommy, wife, and nurse that day!
Unfortunately I think I wore myself out on Saturday because Sunday I was feeling awful again. We DID make it to Sunday school and worship, but I was not feeling my greatest. We had planned (and told bouncing blue-eyed boy) that we would take the kids to the fair. I was so upset thinking I wouldn't be able to follow through with that promise! However, after a good nap and some meds, I was feeling well enough to pack everyone up and head off to the great state fair! We had a WONDERFUL time, just our little family of four! Great food, rides, games, and of course, pics!! I'll be posting those soon.
For now, we are all starting to feel better (thank goodness!) and gearing up for the fun, festive month of October! This time of year is SO much fun with the kids!

Hooray, hooray!!

I hate sounding like I'm bragging about it, but I just get SO excited when I do well on a test! And today was one of those days! I'm in this Anatomy & Physiology class, which is a requirement for ANY nursing major, and I have this professor who just might as well be as boring as the dull brown chalkboard he writes upon. Plus, he goes on and on and on about information I feel is completely irrelevant for what we need to be discussing to get the grade. So, after *somewhat* stressing about the test last Wednesday (really I was stressing more about all the ridiculous instructions he has for taking his exams, and trying to do them the right way so I wouldn't automatically fail before even getting my No. 2 to the page), we got our results this morning and- I MADE A 95!!! AND what's even better...that was without the extra credit points. I know, you must be thinking "Well why didn't you get the extra credit points?!" Well, I spent my valuable time studying the material he said we would be tested on, not the extra credit stuff (which had NOTHING to do with the unit we were testing on). So, I am feeling quite accomplished today...perhaps the most difficult class I've got, and I made a 95 on my first exam! Hopefully I can just continue the semester at that rate and it will truly be a HUGE success! Bring it, nursing school!

Not what it seems

I assure you, the reason I've not posted since Thursday is NOT because I've been slacking! Quite the opposite, in fact! Gosh, we were just CRAZY busy all weekend, and it was great!
Friday, Baby Boy and myself stayed in bed for most of the day feeling crummy. Fortunately for me, Petite Princess was able to go to MDO so I only had to keep up with one toddler for a majority of the day. It was so nice though, to spend some quality snuggle time with my Baby Boy. He's getting so big, it seems everyday he's more boy and less baby. Definitely a bittersweet time for his mommy :(
That night The Boy and I were supposed to be attending a wedding rehearsal and dinner for some very good friends' ceremony, but since I was not feeling so great, he went alone. His band was also going to be playing at the reception, so they needed some extra practice time anyway. So I got the kids bathed and in bed early, and then tucked myself in for an early bed time.
Saturday, we were in hyper mode ALL day! We got up early, with several errands needing to be taken care of. Since it's the weekend, we try to do as much as possible with just the four of us, even if it means just running all over the city, in and out of the car many times. I was so blessed to have all three of my loves accompany me to pick out a new outfit for the wedding. Amazingly, no melt downs occurred while we were shopping, even from The Boy! ;) So I got an adorable new outfit that everyone agreed looked good. After that we got to head to a local builder's supply store to check out appliances and lighting fixtures for our *potential* new house! I should have more (good) news on that later this week! Just keep us in your prayers, please, as this has been a much longer process than any of us ever anticipated. We know God has the perfect home in store for us, we are just growing more and more anxious to get our family in to it! Then it was time to drop the kiddos off at Mimzy & Dude's so The Boy and I could get ready to head to the wedding.
It was set at the most adorable location in the heart of old downtown, and truly is a vintage oasis in the midst of metropolitan hustle abd bustle. The colors were magnificent- true reflections of the beautiful fall season we are entering into. Rich oranges, warm grays, greens and deep, saturated reds. And the bride was absolutely stunning. We had a wonderful time "playing" with old friends, and listening to The Boy and his band play. We spent the cool, breezy, beautiful evening dancing, singing, eating cake, and thoroughly enjoying ourselves. (I'll post some great pics of all this later in the week!)
Today, I was still not feeling too great, so we were sluggish to get up and around for church, and unfortunately did not make it to our home church for worship. I feel so out of sorts on the weekends now, and it resonates through my week when I don't get my Sunday morning routine just right. I miss the time of fellowship and worship with brothers and sisters who are united to celebrate the love of our gracious God. However, we were able to join my parents (and the kiddos) at their home church, which is the church I grew up in. It's nice to be able to go back to your "roots" every now and again.
The rest of our day was spent doing family things. We took my mom & dad to see "the house", then we did a little Sunday shopping with our two favorite kids on this earth. The evening was nice and relaxed with just pizza for dinner, followed by baths and story time. It's so fun to get to watch the kids interact with each other in these special moments. They truly are getting to be great friends, and I love to watch that relationship blossom.
We are looking forward to a great week, hopefully and prayerfully filled with some BIG blessed events for our family. We hope you all had a wonderful weekend filled with fun, laughter, love, and blessings. Have a great Monday!

Slacker No More!

So, in reading all the posts my friends make on their blogs, I've come to realize I'm already a blog-slacker...and I've just started! AAArrrggh!! Tonight, that shall change!

I guess I should let you in on the title of my blog:

I have always been OBSESSED with the field of medicine, and God has a *funny* way of making these things hit home. I entered OU as a pre-med/microbiology major, with the hopes and aspirations to one day be a pediatric oncologist/hematologist. It was not to be, however, for me to breeze through undergraduate studies, on to med school, and so forth. In the fall of 2002, a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This diagnosis caught our entire family off guard. We were plagued with memories of a neighborhood friend who died of an aggressive brain tumor/cancer just a few years before, as that was the only experience we had ever known similar to what we were facing. We were not hopeless, though, as we had no doubts our God would pull all of us through this terrifying ordeal. Tests were run, blood was taken (and taken and taken), spinal taps were drawn, I had every kind of MRI, MRA, MR(you name it)...and it was still up for debate as to exactly what kind of tumor it was. Initial thoughts were that it wasn't even a tumor, rather the "scar" from a stroke. (A stroke?! I'm a healthy 19 year old!) Other thoughts were that it was tumefactive MS. Another shocking possiblility...being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at only 19 years of age. Through MUCH prayer and sheer faith in God, we were led down a path, step by step, that took myself and my family to the place we felt we needed to be. My aunt in Houston is a nurse for a cardiac surgeon, who just *happens* to be good friends with the chief of neurosurgery at MD Anderson Cancer Center. He asked his friend if he would take a look at all my scans, and he agreed. Within days of receiving all the results, Dr. Raymond Sawaya was in contact with my mom, advising her of every step he felt we needed to take. There were many hurdles to overcome- financial, a place for my parents to stay, insurance benefits, risk/benefit ratio, etc. And one by one, our gracious Lord gave us the answers. Insurance carrier agreed to cover 90% of all costs, and the MD Anderson's status as a research facility meant a large portion of what was left after insurance could possibly be written off. My aunt who got us in contact with Dr. Sawaya had a friend who lived literally BLOCKS from the medical center. Again, it just so *happened* that this friend was scheduled to be on vacation for two weeks...the exact two weeks that *coincided* with our scheduled time in Houston. She offered her amazing newly renovated loft for us to stay in, she was going to have to get a housesitter anyway (all three of us stayed there for the few days of pre-op and my parents stayed there while I spent a week in the hospital after surgery), and it took at the most, five minutes to get from her loft to the hospital where I was staying. All the pieces just seemed to be laid out before us...and God just coaxed us along His predestined path. We learned a lot about faith in those months leading up to the surgery...and they are all lessons that resonate with me more strongly as time goes by. After pathology came back, it was discovered the tumor was pre-cancerous. The headaches that led to the discovery of the tumor were/are in no way related to it. It was what most of my doctors refer to as a "coincidental finding". I know the truth. Dr. Sawaya told us that had the tumor not been discovered until IT showed symptoms of itself, I most likely would have been 25/26 years old with cancer the size of an orange or grapefruit that would not have been operable.

Now, for the next part of the story:

The Boy and I started dating the summer before he was to begin law school. This (finally) happened FOUR years after I graduated high school, a year after him. Oh the crush I had on him, though, when we were in school together. He was my idea of "AMAZING", and my best friend and I each shared this affection for him (as did many of my fellow female classmates, I'm sure). He was, in a word, spectacular. Dreamily tall, athletic build (he was a football player!), milk dud eyes, with lashes that went on for days, gorgeous almost black brown hair, and the smile...oh the smile, it would make any girl weak in the knees. It was simply flawless, and he had no problem flashing that thing around like a diamond ring. But the best part about him? He was without a doubt, the sweetest boy I'd ever spoken to. Granted, he spent most of the class time we had together picking on me with some of the other guys in our Algebra 3 class, but I didn't care...it meant I had his attention :) Needless to say, I "suffered" through the class and squeaked out of that ELECTIVE with a C. He, however, made an A. Five years later, a *chance* reunion with an old friend of mine led to her giving The Boy my number (upon my urging, begging, and pleading, of course). He called a few weeks later, to see if I'd like to "hang out" at dinner. I laughed my way through the entire 10 minute conversation- I was SO nervous that was all I could do! But, it was official (at least from my perspective), I was going on a date with THE BOY the following Tuesday (Tuesday? Really?! Who goes on dates on a Tuesday night? But whatever!! It was a date!) So, the day came...I spent hours the night before scouring my wardrobe for the PERFECT outfit, and had finally settled on an amazing little ensemble. I spent the entire day at work just giddy with excitement and nervousness...everyone knew that I was going out the The Boy, and this was a HUGE deal. I had agreed to meet him in Norman, since he was living there at the time (I have NO idea why I did this, ha!) so I headed that way with plenty of extra time for any sort of traffic problems, tie-ups, etc. What I hadn't accounted for however, was getting pulled over by a state trooper. Yep, a mere 10 minutes into my drive, the gut-wrenching blue and reds flashed up behind me, and my stomach dropped to my toes. What seemed like decades (fifteen minutes) later, after explaining to the trooper that I was actually on my way to a date with The Boy, who is the son of the District Judge of the particular county we were in, I drove away with my $220 ticket. But even that couldn't dampen the excitement that was pumping through my veins. I finally made it to Norman, after having to call him and explain to him why I would be about 20 minutes late. We had dinner at this horrible little restaurant (though I didn't admit that to him until at least a year later) and I barely ate a thing due to the feeling that I might puke all over his gorgeous blue shirt that made those brown eyes a dark sea of deliciousness, because I was SO nervous. We then went to hang out at their house where we talked with his roommate, then went out to sit on the back deck and chat. When I get nervous, I tend to talk a lot....and by that, I mean a LOT more than USUAL. I can't say for sure exactly what we talked about that night, but I do know that boy had to listen to nonsensical rambling for a good two hours. When I left that night he gave me the awkward "side hug", and I just knew I'd blown any chance of ever having a second date. Which, in all honesty I knew wasn't a real possibility anyway, because my friend who set us up told me he wasn't looking for anything serious, as he was getting ready to start law school and really wanted to focus on that, and not a relationship. Much to both of our surprise though, a week later (after countless hours on the phone and going on dates every night from Thursday to the following Tuesday!), the boy told me he loved me...and I knew it was true, because I loved him too. Oh, how I loved that amazingly handsome (yes, he even improved with age!), genuine, tenderhearted, smart boy.

(Even with black icing all over his face, those pearly whites just sparkle!!)

And here's how the story goes now:

We barely knew life together before "the law" and now we couldn't tell you what that was like. He started law school in August 2005. In the three years to follow we: got married, moved, gave birth to beautiful bouncing blue-eyed boy, moved, celebrated his graduation, and less than four weeks later gave birth to our precious petite princess!! All that excitement left us with one MAJOR hurdle...the Bar Exam. UGH. Anyone that has ever had to experience in anyway knows what dread and anxiety this can bring with it. Our precious petite princess was a mere 6 weeks old when The Boy spent two days in downtown OKC taking this monster of a test. Then we "got" to wait another 6 weeks before finding out the results. In true rockstar fashion, though, he passed with flying colors!! And we spent the next 4 days celebrating with anyone and everyone! Fortunately, he already had a job lined up (pending his passage of the Bar) and upon being sworn in (another 3 weeks later) he was an official attorney!









Today, I am 26 years old...married to The Boy, who truly is the Man of My Dreams, I am the gushingly proud mommy to the two most amazing babies in the world, sleeping peacefully in their beds down the hall. My life has purpose (as all of ours do) and I'm living to fulfill it. I am back in school finishing up my nursing degree. My goal is to go into pediatric oncology/hematology...but now I have a whole new respect and outlook of what a cancer diagnosis means, and the opportunities it brings with it.

This life of ours is so richly blessed with love beyond measure. I know that each step and decision in our pasts has brought us to this day...where we are together, celebrating the many blessings God has given us. I strive to make Him proud of me every day- to be the follower He desires me to be, the wife He desires me to be, the mother He desires me to be, the daughter, sister, friend...I pray my faith will be the defining trait in my life. And through that faith, I will show compassion, love, forgiveness the way He designed me to.